This afternoon as i was washing the dishes, i 'accidentally' cut myself with the razor blade that happened to be nearby. As i watched thick, red blood seep out and swirl around in the soapy water i thought of how depressed and suicidal i am. Luckily i didn't cut too deep otherwise i wouldnt be able to post an entry on my myspace and this blog about how i hate life and how most of all, life hates me. Oh and i took pictures of my wound so i could show the world through the internet, what misery and pain it causes my lost, dark soul to walk this wretched earth . Anyway the point of this post is to spread the joy of emoness. This is, How to be an emo kid.

Step one.
First you must know that emo, stands for emotional hardcores. Emo kids, like myself must always remember to cry excessively. If you cant find a reason to cry, moan and complain about your troubles and how everyone is shallow. This is always good. Remember to cry at the times it matters. Cry when you cant find a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Cry when you are so in love in hurts and you cut yourself. Also remember to cry when you think you might get dumped, and you are supposed to think this all the time. Cry because you couldnt go to the my chemical romance concert. Being an emo kid is not an easy path. You must never be seen laughing in public or listening to Avril Lavigne.

Step two.
How to dress. To be a true emo, you must wear the emo. This means you wear tight jeans that make it hard to walk in and tshirts with band names on them or a vintage track jacket. Make sure to choose dark colours that reflect the sorrow of your soul. Always have hair that is black and greasy, a zelda cut (from Sabrina the teenage witch), and have a fringe that preferably slants so it looks like you cut it yourself in the dark in a depressed state of mind. This is to achieve the 'emo' vibe. Sometimes you can have very random chunks of colour in your hair so that your parents can tell you apart from the homeless man across the street. Remember to accessorize. You can have nerdy black framed glasses and lebret piercings.

Step Three
Is your msn name still Princess baby love? Its time to change it. Choose something dark and sinister like xsuicidalxemox or something deep like that . Talk to your non emo friends about being emo, and always say something different so it sounds mysterious. .. because it is. Take pictures of you and your hair at a high angle so only one of your eyes show. If you have Followed through step two and chopped your fringe, you should have no problem. Blur your pictures on photoshop and make them bright so it looks artistic and emo. Talk about photography and road trips alot. Wear eyeliner. Lots and lots of eyeliner.

So thats just the basics of emoness. Im totally hardcore. When i eat MnMs, i only eat the red ones. I dont eat meat, because it'll all go to my ass and with these tight jeans, it really wouldnt work out. Sometimes i develop an eating disorder.

Its also a good idea to hang out with other emo kids and stare at the sidewalk as you listen to despairing brooding songs on your iPod outside popular shops. Remember to fall in love easy and cry alot and it doesnt matter if it smudges your eyeliner. Keep extra razor blades around you.